getting older :|

So, as my 21st birthday nears I have had this overwhelming and very sudden sinking feeling that I am getting old. I know I'm only turning 21 and my life is nearly just beginning  but I feel like I have lived an entire lifetime in the few years I've been living. I started smoking cigarettes, experimenting with drugs, having sex and going to parties when i was 15 years old. Luckily enough I never really got set in those ways and I was through with drugs within a year roughly. I still drink occasionally but I stopped smoking cigarettes after 5 years this past September ( which I am rather proud of). Now that I am going to be of age I will be able to go out to bars and get drinks at restaurants, which is fairly exciting, dont get me wrong, but after this the things I will be looking forward to are getting married, buying my first home, having children, etc.  I will no longer be able to live the life of a bouncy, wild youth! This terrifies me! Everything I do will matter. I will need to find a job that I will want to make a career out of..I will have to save money and most of all I will have to think about how the choices I make will affect my future. It seems like a dream. I feel too young to grow up , if that makes any sense at all. Maybe I am not as mature as I think I am....

too many social sites to keep up with :/

I have neglected this one... there is probably a way to sync them all up but I feel less creative just thinking about doing that.  Actually, I am rather interested in blogging short stories from my life on this one in order to hone my writing skills. I quite enjoy writing. Even just responding to comments on my Facebook I sometimes take 5 minutes to type and delete several versions of a very simple answer haha. I also think I have a dream of being a semi internet famous blogger for my witty online input. The internet makes telling stories to strangers much less strange and creepy. I mean, could you imagine walking around and being like, "oh man this one time when i was like 5 I sold old stale licorice to all the neighbor kids for 10 cents a rope because I bought it at school for like 2 dollars and left it on top of the microwave and forgot about it until it was rock hard and didn't want to eat it anymore!" and then walking away in a sort of IRL version of the way it would have gone on the internet. That would just be awkward. God bless the internet, for making socially awkward situations a complete normalcy!